Since I lost my kids and was eventually “abandoned” by the man who vowed ‘to love and to cherish till death do us part’, I tried to do the usual routine at home to fight the sadness I feel inside – cleaning the house, attending to my plants and my dogs, reading unfinished books, listening to music and writing diverse articles for my column. I always tell myself everything happens for a reason and try to apply the positive mental attitude I learned back then. Sometimes it works but Eydie Gorme was right. Despite the years that passed, I still ache. “I never knew it takes too long to learn to live alone.”
Yes, I am always alone in the house during weekdays because my only companion, my grandchild, is working. I appreciate the efforts of my friends who visit and regularly check on me if I am doing fine. Vice Governor Atty, Karen C. Agapay would always remind me to take care of myself and to keep safe because COVID 19 is still here. 7 Lakes Press Corps President Sandy Belarmino would always check if I have a complete dose of my maintenance medicines. Once, my old-time friend former Prosecutor Ante Gonzales and his wife Joy Cabrera-Gonzales picked me up for lunch. Some would send me inspirational quotes while others would just send me heart emojis enough to make my day.
This is life. We came to this world alone and naked and we shall go alone with nothing but clothes, the only material thing we can bring to the other side. I may sound morbid but I can’t help it. I guess this is how all seniors feel when alone and abandoned. Do I feel sorry? Of course not. According to the inspiring quote I found on the FB wall of spouses Noriel and Nora Bicomong, “Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one. Sometimes, those who fly solo have the strongest wings.” I certainly agree. I am a living testament to this. Through the years, I have learned the art of diverting my solitude into something positive and productive.
At this point in my senior life, I am fully aware that I am slowly but surely walking my way into the sunset; that all the trials I met along the way are nothing but tests of faith; that God is with me all the steps of the way; that there is peace in silence. I may be physically alone but I’m certain that the spirits of my children are guarding me. I know because I can feel it. The thread that connects us will never be severed unlike the bogus vow I heard 21 years ago in that makeshift altar at Tierra de Oro which easily snapped for reason only God knows what.
Anyway, everything now is water under the bridge. It’s useless crying over spilled milk. Time will not stop running and the world would continue to revolve till kingdom come. I know The Universe has its unique way of putting all the broken pieces of everything into its proper place. Who knows, by tomorrow when I wake up, the people who did me wrong are already on their way to perdition.
Melinda Bagsic Evangelista
I was born to write and I believe that’s my calling. I love writing because it brings me to the realm exclusively of mine. It is also my opinion that “immortality” can be achieved not by searching for the Holy Grail and drinking from it but by living your life worth-writing or writing something worth-reading. Since I cannot promise you a life worth-writing, I keep myself busy writing something worth-reading. I am thankful to God for giving me the talent and skill to see life in different perspectives not seen by many and the courage to share it to my readers. This first ever Tutubi Digital News Magazine is a perfect avenue to bring you the many facets of life that you can ponder upon in this time of the pandemic. Enjoy reading all the articles.
